If only life were more like the movies, where politicians made actual decisions that mattered: fending off alien invasions (Independence Day), putting Superman on trial (Batman V Superman) or… erm… falling in love with an urchin (Love Actually).
Surely the world would be a better place if more politicians took notes from these guys – yes, we may have conveniently ignored Reagan and The Governator himself, but these are still our favourite movie politicians. Who gets your vote?
1] Greg Stilson – The Dead Zone
To be perfectly honest, I’d never vote for anyone, or indeed do anything at all if I thought it might piss off Christopher Walken, but Martin Sheen’s man-of-the-people act is doing a pretty good job of propelling him toward the White House in David Cronenberg’s ’83 Stephen King Adaptation.
Of course, we don’t have any psychics on hand to see if Trump or Hilary are planning to launch a nuclear attack on Brussels anytime soon, but the film still ranks highly as a warning about what happens when your leaders believe a little too strongly in their ideals.
2] Adenoid Hynkel – The Great Dictator
Charlie Chaplin finally decided it was payback time for Hitler stealing his moustache with his first talkie. A searing attack on the idiocy of the extreme right wing.
Along with advisers Garbitch and Herring, the leader of Tomenia is hell bent on bringing the world under his control, only hindered by his own hubris and predilection for making ridiculous speeches in public. Almost exactly like a real politician in fact.
3] Jesse Ventura – Abraxas
He may be a goddamn sexual tyrannosaurus, but even former spandex-clad man-grappler and on-again, off-again governor of Minnesota, Jesse Ventura couldn’t save the woeful pile of crap that called itself Abraxas (in fact it was so bad it didn’t even warrant a real trailer – this fan effort was the best we could find!)
Big Jesse may be a dab hand at doing the capitol hill two-step, but his muddled manifesto (dress up in silver lycra, bring law and order to the galaxy and stop a killer mutant loose on Earth) just doesn’t appeal to the average working class family.
4] Larry Vaughn – Jaws
As anyone growing up in a seaside town knows, the yearly influx of tourists is vital to the local economy, so who cares if one or two of the more nubile ones get their bubble-perms bitten off by a psychotic fish? Certainly not Mayor Larry, who lives up to the classical political ideal by putting money – and re-election – a long, long way ahead of human lives. Sorry Larry, but you’re gonna need a bigger vote.
5] President Scroob – Spaceballs
Who wouldn’t vote for Mel Brooks? We sure would, even if his ass is on backwards.
Scroob spends most of the movie tempting an expense account scandal with his own supply of clean air and three in a bed romps with twins Marlene and Charlene, but when push comes to shove he’s the kind of leader who gets things done. How he ever justified spending all those tax dollars on a three hundred foot tall French maid is anyone’s guess though.
Disagree with this list? Feel free to tell us why Mayor Goldie Wilson should have been included in the comments. Don’t expect us to pay any attention though. This ain’t no democracy after all.
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