Wiz Khalifa dropped* a new track last night. It’s called ‘Stranger Things’. Guess what it samples?

It feels like sampling everyone in the world’s favourite TV theme tune that isn’t Bergerac and producing a decent track is like trying to find John Nettles in a detective drama. But hey, technically Mr Wizard Khalifa esq was the first to turn S U R V I V E member’s Kyle Dixon and Michael Stein’s synthtastic score into a hip-hop tune, so back off!

Here’s Wiz’s ‘Stranger Things’…

It’s alright. Like I said, you can’t really go wrong transplanting the S U R V I V E members’ gorgeous theme tune wholesale into a new track. God knows I’ve listened to every existing variation of the Stranger Things soundtrack on repeat for the last two months and could use the change.

But not too much of a change though. Let’s not go crazy.

Perhaps this is a good gentle segue into remembering there’s other music available in the world that doesn’t sound like something thrown together by John Carpenter or Goblin during a late night Benylin session in 1984.

Sadly it may take more than this record however, as ‘Stranger Things’ is basically a competent rap using fairly basic rhymes elevated massively by the backing track. Mercifully the expectation that Wiz might start singing “wooh, these are stranger things” in the chorus never comes to pass.

Although to be honest, I can’t think of a better rhyme with stranger other than danger myself. Let’s see…

Park ranger? Probs a bit too difficult to make it work in a non Yogi Bear referencing hip-hop song.

Stewart Granger? I don’t think anybody reading this is old enough to remember who he is, let alone Wiz Khalifa fans.

Jesus’s manger? We’re still in September, otherwise that would have been nice and seasonal at least.

Clothes hanger? I HATE IMPERFECT RHYMES bleugh!

Game changer? Be thankful this one stayed in your office’s boardroom. Maybe Wiz made the best choice after all.

Well anyway, that’s music news for this week. *dusts hands, hits publish, takes week off*

*Clumsy.