I know. I hate these phoney holidays too. They’re invented purely so Hallmark can sell more greetings cards, amirite?
Valentine’s Day: bleugh! Grandparent’s Day: bleugh! Secretary’s Day: bleugh! (mainly because it sounds like something very demeaning is going to happen at work this afternoon). May the 4th ‘Star Wars Day’: as if EVERY day isn’t Star Wars day…
And as for Alien Day!? Well it’s IMPOSSIBLE to walk into Clinton’s/Scribbler/Paperchase (delete according to how much money you like wasting on fucking birthday cards) without being bombarded by silver helium balloons in the shape of slimy xenomorphs, tiny candles in the shape of flame-throwers and plush cuddly Power Loaders. It’s sickening, this crass commercialisation of a once holy, spiritual day.
But as easy as it is to be cynical about the whole thing during the run-up, much like Christmas, once the day arrives, after all the presents have been unwrapped and you’re stuffed full of food it’s impossible not to feel a sense of warmth as you gather with your loved ones to watch Harry Dean Stanton get his brains skewered by a rubbery space-creature’s inner set of pharyngeal jaws.
Yes okay fine, Alien Day is brand new and totally invented by 20th Century Fox, who after seeing the whirlwhind of hype around Back to the Future Day (21 October 2016) they thought, “Hey we can make loads of money off a 35 year-old idiot’s nostalgia too, let’s sell him some fucking stupid trainers.”
The date they chose for this inaugural celebration is April 26, picked for the delightfully nerdy reason that LV-426 is the fictional moon where the aliens are discovered by the crew of the Nostromo in the first Alien movie. LV-426 = 4/26 = April 26. Ta-da!
Anyway, despite all the cynicism and obvious intent to drum up some early pre-awareness for 2017’s Alien Covenant (Ridley Scott’s slightly more of a prequel to Alien than Prometheus, or so he “promises”), we can all agree that Alien is frigging awesome and frankly any excuse to watch either Alien or Aliens again is more than welcome.
So what’s happening around the world and what cool shit could you buy if you got a bit tipsy on April 26 and just happened to be near a laptop?
Alamo Drafthouse Double-Bill Screening
Yeah this one’s pretty cool if you happen to be anywhere near one of the 17 Alamo Drafthouse cinemas in the USA on 4/26. They’ve teamed up with Mondo to offer a double bill of Alien and Aliens and are offering all kinds of cool collectibles, exclusive videos and other assorted treats during the evening.
Best of all, you’ll get to own this badass T-shirt if you go…
— MONDO (@MondoNews) March 29, 2016
AND IF I DON’T LIVE IN THE US?
Well you’ll just have to break out your old Aliens Trilogy VHS box-set from 1993 and watch it in your skimpy Ripley style pants at home.
I wonder if that 2 for 1 entry pass to Alien War at the Trocadero is still valid?
Own Ripley’s Reebok Stompers
Ripley’s courageously higher-than-high-tops from Aliens are being re-released by Reebok on April 26. Yep. These guys…
Hmm, there’s not a lot of give in the ankle there. Can’t help but feel there will be many a grazed 35 year-old knee in the office car-park by the end of the month.
Listen to the new audio drama Alien: Out of the Shadows
Alien: Out of the Shadows is a 2014 novel written by Tim Lebbon set between the first two Alien films and features Ellen Ripley dealing with another alien outbreak, a bunch of oily miners and the return of Ash, the milk spewing robot built in the shape of Bilbo Baggins. Audible will release an audio adaptation of the novel on April 26. For added intensity it stars Rutger Hauer.
NECA to release the first ever Lieutenant Vasquez toy
Wait! There’s never been a Vasquez toy? She’s the second coolest character in Aliens and the first coolest marine! What a disgrace. Neca will be correcting this wrong in a few weeks time.
FUNKO’s ALIEN Queen & Power Loader Ripley figureS
In the tradition of their slightly crappy (but it’s okay because it’s ‘retro’) line of ReAction action figure, Funko will enable you to reenact the ONLY time it’s ever okay to call something a “bitch” as many times as your fragile nerdy little heart can take.
LOOT CRATE’s Alien Special
“The monthly mystery subscription box will launch a limited-edition ALIENS 30th Anniversary crate on 4/26 filled with exclusive merchandise, collectibles and more from all core licensee partners.”
I copied this word-for-word because I thought the phrase ‘core licensee partners’ was the most hilariously joyless thing I’ve ever read in a press release about a fucking horror movie.
DARK HORSE COMICS’ deluxe 30th anniversary hardcover version of the original ALIENS series from 1986
This bad boy right here, in all its black and white, gory, disembowelling glory…
Horrible stuff. Really put me off my Shreddies when I was a kid.
USAopoly’s Alien themed board games
Presumably because Aliens vs Predator is the cheapest film of the series to licence, here’s Aliens vs Predator Yahtzee…
I’m sort of losing the will to live now.
Oh wait, it’s Aliens vs Predator Clue…
Please make it stop.
Read a new Aliens novel from TITAN BOOKS
The brand-new novel Alien: Invasion (The Rage War book 2) by Tim Lebbon is released on FUCKING GUESS.
INSIGHT EDITIONS’ the Weyland-Yutani Report
A giant hardback book filled with all sorts of ‘in-universe’ facts about your very favourite evil fictional corporation that’s probably still a couple of human rights violations less evil than Monsanto.
This is a cheaper version of the monstrously priced (and jacketed) version that came out a couple of years ago…
DC releasing Batman vs Alien comic
In collabo with Dark Horse, DC will re-release the ‘fan-favorite’ Batman vs Alien comic for the first time in more than a decade.
Yet somehow not as stupid or baffling as Batman vs Superman.
ALIEN: Ultimate Trivia Challenge
And possibly the most fun you’ll have on April 26 is this 24-hour Twitter contest.
Every 42.6 minutes a new Alien trivia question will be asked by the official Alien Anthology twitter account, @AlienAnthology and you can win various prizes. Probably most of what I’ve mentioned above, but maybe not the 2 for 1 entry to the Trocadero. The contest kicks off at 12 AM EST on April 26 and you’ll need to pre-register your Twitter handle at Alien Anthology.
Alright, I think that’s everything. The only other thing I wanted to add is that writing this article made me have this exchange with Google at 1am last night…
I don’t know how else to ask this question Google!