Part wildly ambitious art-project, part hilariously extravagant joke, all necessary ‘fuck-you’ to the establishment, Banksy’s Dismaland is a grimly dysfunctional theme park set inside the Grade 2 listed Tropicana centre, a water park in Weston-Super- Mare that’s been left derelict for more than 20 years. 

Since Dismaland’s opening in August, Banksy’s anti-capitalist statement has caused controversy and divided opinion in equal measure. The press has decried it as both “threadbare and boring” and merely advancing “art as clickbait”, however most of the locals we talked to seemed to be pleased that somebody has “done something useful with that Tropicana shit-hole at last”.

Last Friday night the Methods Unsound crew drove four hours to experience the land where dreams are trodden into the dirt for ourselves, and these are our thoughts and helpful tips for making the most out of your despairing trudge around the park…

1. When booking your time-slot, pick 7pm. Then arrive as early as you can. The evenings are a lot quieter earlier, and you won’t have to queue as long.

Seriously, this is the difference between 7pm on a Friday…

And 11am on a Saturday…

2. Also if you go in the evening you get to see the park at dusk, and it definitely looks best in the twilight.

3. The eight and a half minute walk we had through the queuing system was pointless but fittingly hilarious.

4. Price for entry is £3 and frankly it’s a fricking bargain. In fact even if you go on a Friday night to see either the live music or comedy, £15 is still a fricking bargain. Run the Jewels on Friday 4 September was easily my favourite gig of the year and Massive Attack on 25 September will be something really special.

5. If you do go on a Friday night though, you may run out of time to see all the exhibits, eat, drink and see the band. So you may want to stay overnight and get a £3 ticket for the next day anyway.

6. Despite selling out on a weekly basis, Dismaland isn’t as crowded as you assume it’s going to be, so you definitely get a good look at everything.

7. If you haven’t pre-booked, there are walk-up tickets available. However get there early as it’s a ‘one in, one out’ system and there’s no guarantee you’ll get in.

8. Tickets bought from Eventbrite are NOT valid. Make sure that when you book online it’s from the Dismaland website via Seetickets.

9. We weren’t asked for ID when we entered, however this is not a guarantee that the same will happen to you if you arrive without ID or with a resold ticket.

10. It’s cash only. There’s a cash machine just seven minutes walk away at the Co-op on Severn Road.

11. There is food on sale, and it’s all vegetarian. There’s a tent selling pretty tasty 12” freshly made thin-crust pizzas for £8 a pie or there’s a stall selling falafel wraps.

12. If you’re gluten or wheat free you may want to eat beforehand.

13. Don’t smile. You will be told off. You may even be told to join the back of the queue. Don’t let ‘the man’ push you around though, hopefully that’s the one over-riding lesson you’ll take away from this.

14. The security check is as draconian as entering The Reichstag, but again, stand your ground. You can easily out-improv the teenage drama students as they won’t be expecting it.

15. It’s wonderful to see the event staff completely in on the gag. It’s not just the fact that the Dismaland staff don’t smile, it’s that they look like intimidatingly misanthropic  teenagers. It’s brilliant.

16. Even the guy serving pizza shouted “pipe down over there!” at a group of overexcited youngsters in the tent. It was entirely warranted.

17. It’s worth staying till the end of your time slot just to be told to “piss off” over the tannoy.

18. There are three bars. One on the roof, one in the pizza tent and one to the side of the stage at the rear left of the park.

19. If you’re getting a drink prior to a live band, prepare for a long wait, but the pizza tent bar seemed to be the quickest.

20. You have a choice of Estrella, Thatchers, Guinness or wine. It’s £4 a pint.

21. Drinks aren’t allowed inside any of the separate galleries so finish off before hitting the castle and the artists’ building.

22. It’s not just Banksy on display here. Dismaland features amazing work from more than 60 international artists, all of which are similarly anarchic, anti-corporate and more often than not, hilarious.

23. A lot of the work is surprisingly affecting. It’s true that the entire park is based on one joke, but it’s an incredibly good joke, and elements like the guerilla art tent filled with international protest signs are as moving as they are stirring.

24. Definitely go in the castle, I won’t spoil it for you here but it is maybe Banksy’s finest, sickest moment.

25. It’s cold by the sea. Take a coat. And a hat.

26. If you go in the evening, you may be treated to a surprise guest DJ. On the night we went, Fatboy Slim was on the decks behind the bar. It was nice to hear ‘Right Here, Right Now’ again. The drum and bass remix of ‘Let it Go’ was weird and awful.

27. You may also bump into a celebrity…

28. The spinning caravan isn’t as terrifying as you assume it’s going to be.

29. The park is wheelchair accessible, but the surfaces are purposely rough and uneven so everyone should watch where they step.

30. Other attractions in Weston-Super-Mare within 10 minutes of Dismaland include a Pirate adventure golf, a sand sculpture exhibition and numerous opportunities for a donkey ride.

31. If you’re looking for somewhere for a drink past 11pm that isn’t a nightclub or a Yate’s, then there’s a Wetherspoons (The Dragon Inn) open till 1am on Meadow Street. Don’t turn your nose up, bottles of craft beer are just £2.50.

32. There’s also a taxi rank just a few doors up from the ‘spoons.

33. If you’re travelling from afar and booked in for an evening slot, then hotels in Weston may be unavailable. We stayed in a nice B&B in Hutton called Moorlands Country House. Imagine your lovely and super-cool nan’s house.

34. Hutton is just a 10 minute taxi-ride away from Dismaland, costing between £6-£7.

35. We had conversations with two taxi-drivers on the relative merits of Dismaland and the effect it’s had on Weston-Super-Mare. They were fairly polarised, although my favourite exchange went like this…

Taxi driver: I found out today that Banksy is actually a group of five people.
Me: Really! Who told you that?
Taxi driver: A security guard I know bumped into one of them the other night in a club. You see, that’s why they’re called Banksy. Because there’s more than one of them.
Me: Okay, this is my stop.

36. There is plenty of parking all along the sea-front where Dismaland is situated. It’s £4 for four hours during the day, £1.50 after 6pm.

37. Tickets for 16-21 September go on sale Wednesday 9th September at 10am. Be online for then.

38. You can be as snooty about Banksy and this project as much as you like, but if you go and experience Dismaland for yourself perhaps you’ll realise that although the message lacks subtlety, it still needs to be made.

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